Welcome to the first post for 2024’s edition of This Month in 5 Songs. I had such a fun time sharing these shortlists with you last year that I wanted to keep it up for the upcoming one. Whatever your favorite genres of music are, I hope you find something here that resonates with you, whether it’s the lyrics, melodies, vibe, or just what I was feeling when I chose the song. Thanks for tuning in <3
Whew, made it just in time for the end of the month.
I admit: the end of last year and the beginning of this one haven’t exactly played out the way I thought it would. An old therapist of mine once recommended a book called Transitions (which I admittedly did not read past the intro…), but what I gleaned from those first few pages was that we expect ourselves to adapt beautifully to changes, especially those that are welcomed, things we had always wanted, or ones we consider positive. But the reality often feels a lot less easy to navigate than we’d imagined.
In the past few weeks, a few friends have brought up the same word to me: grace. While I know what they mean by it—namely that I’m not giving myself enough of it—I hunted down the definition and marveled at how many different uses there are for this single word.
Long ago, I spent a large part of my childhood in the church, so when I hear of grace, I still think of God or “God’s grace.” The way it was portrayed to me was something we were only given by extreme—almost pitied—kindness, and that we were inherently undeserving of it. It felt like something that only someone stronger, more powerful could grant us in our darkest hour, like charity or an unexpectedly lighter sentence in a courtroom.
This is what I’m grappling with this month: Grace sometimes doesn’t feel like mine to give. Or, in the face of being Good Cop or Bad Cop to myself, somehow I’ll always choose the one who interrogates ruthlessly to find the flaws in my own logic, the areas of unforgivability. It’s been a work in progress to feel like someone who can both give and receive grace, especially if it’s coming from myself.
01. 🎵 North by North by Faded Paper Figures
Another old favorite that came back into my orbit via one fateful Shuffle. Last month I stumbled upon this meme account where the author writes these lovely self-validating captions to old cartoons. (My nerdy inner child ascended.) I loved the ones that featured an older self talking to a younger self with compassion. The gentleness of this song and the repeating lines, “To islands on the sea / Lands I’ve never seen / Things will get calmer—follow me” feels like something I want to say to my younger self while holding her hand and showing her all the things she’ll see, like Mufasa to Simba in The Lion King.
02. 🎵 Beautiful People (Stay High) by The Black Keys
It’s been a while since I had an upbeat one on the list. I heard this song and immediately fell in love with the melody and later found that one of the stanzas actually uses the word “grace.” I’m also digging these music videos where people are just dancing and embracing whatever the hell is going on. Everyone has their struggles and triumphs, and I love the idea of taking a beat and just dancing or belting a song to feel alive in our own skin.
03. 🎵 god isn’t talking to me by Jailyn Duong
This song contrasts the one above quite starkly; it feels much more solemn, quiet, and desperate. I’m trying to make room for all shades of an experience, times when you have the energy to dance it off and spring into action, and other times when you’re in total surrender, like something bigger than yourself is working against you.
04. 🎵 Tell Me How To Live by Capital Cities
When the lyrics cut straight to the point, do I need to say much else? Just like the song, let’s say it over and over again: Ain’t. Nobody. Gonna. Tell. Me. How. To. Live. 👏
05. 🎵 Praising You by Rita Ora (feat. Fatboy Slim)
Something totally random reminded me of Fatboy Slim’s Praise You, leading me to discover this recent take by Rita Ora. While I LOVE the sheer ‘90s-ness of the original, and the lines “We've come a long, long way together / Through the hard times and the good / I have to celebrate you, baby / I have to praise you like I should” that repeat throughout the 5+ minute song, I liked that Rita’s version filled it out with a different story. Unintentionally, I chose another song with religious-themed words. But I’m once again reminded that the concepts that haunted me in my youth can, in fact, be reserved for myself. Why can’t I praise myself like I should?