Nostalgia is a strange and strong experience for me. Even when I was a kid and could barely grasp the arc of life, I would catch myself thinking wistfully about time and its passing. For me, the end of the year in particular draws me into that state, and as much as I know that these markers are human inventions, I can’t seem to help myself.
Since moving to the West Coast, my sense of seasons has kind of faded, especially in San Francisco where summers are chilly, hot nights are rare, and winter snow doesn’t fall. Layer that in with retailers sending Black Friday discount emails well before Halloween, and I admit that this year, my head’s not in December.
I’ve rounded up a mish-mosh of songs that capture where I am right now, which is partially in the holidays, partially in the clouds.
01. 🎵 Just Like Christmas by Low
Every year for who knows how long, I christen the holiday season and my “Christmas spirit” with this song (and Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe, I’m not even gonna lie.) It’s a holiday song that’s not really a holiday song, but for me, it drips with nostalgia. I think back to my time on the East Coast when the winters were bitingly cold. I can picture myself walking back to my college dorm all bundled up, and I would try to hide my face into my jacket for any semblance of warmth. This song always brings me back to that image.
02. 🎵 It’s Been a Little Heavy Lately by Joesef
I think we can all agree with this sentiment right now. (This is also a very lovely song).
03. 🎵 Better Parts by Tiny Tiny
I find this song to be both hopeful and a plea with its simple and repetitive lyrics. I always find myself hoping that the people around me bring out my best and that I bring out the best in others, but maybe it’s something we don’t have that much control over. I’ve been thinking about this a lot in partnerships and friendships, too, and how the negotiation of supporting yourself versus supporting others can be complex, and you might not be able to Support and Be Supported at the same time, along with the discomfort of not knowing how to express what you need.
04. 🎵 Is It Really Over? by Video Age
Very much a breakup song but I’ve been thinking about this question as we conclude 2023 and how different aspects of my identity that I’ve held onto for a while can so suddenly change. It’s interesting how things or parts of yourself can end with one decision while some take a long time to fade.
05. 🎵 Around the Sun by Poolside feat. Amo Amo
This song has been in my orbit for a few years, but it recently came up on shuffle. When I heard it again, I thought to myself, “This is the vibe I want to take into the new year.” I put so much pressure on myself to have this long list of personal accomplishments by the end of the year, and I often forget that sometimes the beauty is just “making it through.”
After grabbing links from YouTube, I realized that almost all of these songs feature video aesthetics related to nostalgia. I didn’t mean that intentionally, but I’m glad that somehow it does come back to that sticky feeling.
To my dearest readers: I’m wishing you a reflective, comforting, and warm holiday and end-of-year season however you choose to celebrate (or not) 💛